The Upper East Side is a great place. I have a building there, so you know it’s pretty classy, okay. There are these great girls. Beautiful girls, like Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf. I mean they are the … Continued
Kanye West is a terrific rap artist. Great guy. Classy producer. Yuge beats. But he won’t stop messing with his latest album, The Life of Pablo. He keeps uploading new versions of these tracks to Tidal like some loser. That’s pathetic. I’m … Continued
Citizen Kane is a terrific movie. Just terrific. It’s the best movie. Ok? I have great people, the American Film Institute, the best people. You all know it’s the best movie, They’re telling me it’s the best movie. We are … Continued
People come to me worried about the White Walkers. We don’t have to worry about the White Walkers. I’ve been doing deals for a long time. I’ve been making lots of wonderful deals, great deals. And there’s nobody bigger or … Continued
Santa Claus is murdered in this movie, okay? Terrible. It’s an accident, but Santa Claus is murdered. How many of you, you walk into a mall, and you see Santa Claus? We are going to protect it. We are making … Continued
Our Kimmy is in trouble, okay? Kimmy Schmidt, they’re telling me, they’re telling me it’s a miracle, they’re telling me they’re alive, dammit. And I don’t know about that. We’re getting killed, okay? We can’t beat ISIS. You look out … Continued
I had a great dinner. I did. They tell me I had some great food, and I’m telling you I won that dinner. We all did. They were telling me I won it by ten thousand. Fifteen thousand? Think about … Continued
The Muppets USED to be one of the finest, classiest shows on television. The best, really. And I can tell you, the Muppets are some of my biggest fans. It’s really a tragedy what’s been happening with them lately. Sad! What we … Continued
Let me tell you I’m self-funded. The others, they’re beholden to special interests. My daddy, he flew across the ocean, he said, he left me a small loan. And that is what I took and I became one of the … Continued
We need to stop the intrusion of time travelers across our borders. When the future sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people who have a lot of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re … Continued