Vine and Vinepeek: A Window Into Our Souls, In 6 Second Increments [Think Tank]

We’re kind of hooked on Vine and Vinepeek. 6 second videos is all our attention span can handle, apparently.

by

Shechner

Anyone else watching Vinepeek? (It’s a “reel of newly-posted Vines in realtime.”)

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I’m not sure what to make of it. Brilliant found-art collage? New low for our collective attention spans? Hackneyed attempt at shoehorning video into a twitter mold? Discuss.

Lee

Mesmerizing, is what it is. I can’t turn this off.

Mlawski

Newborn baby laughing.
Small white dog being teased with fox toy while muzak plays in the background.
Bonnie Tyler on TV singing Total Eclipse of the Heart.

This is the best thing ever.

Lee

Still watching 10 minutes later. Also, I recorded a Vine of Vinepeek videos, naturally:

And a minute later, saw it playing on Vinepeek.

I’m totally hooked on this. I’m going to found a new religion that’s based on watching this for hours on end until the universe’s truths reveal themselves.

Mlawski

I think the universe’s truth is a cat spinning around in circles. That’s what Vinepeek just told me.

PS – Idea for a movie – girl sees hot guy on Vinepeek, but it was only 6 seconds. Spends the rest of the movie trying to track him down.

Lee

That’s the rom-com version. Crime version: girl sees guy get murdered on Vinepeek, spends the rest of the movie tracking down the killer. On Vinepeek.

Horror version:  girl sees guy get murdered on Vinepeek, spends the rest of the movie getting hunted by the killer. On Vinepeek.

Adams

CBS procedural version: one man’s Vinepeek shows tommorrow’s Vines and he has to solve the crime before it happens. Also there’s a cat.

Stokes

Creepy David Lynch mindfuck version:  one woman’s Vinepeek happens, by a continuous string of coincidences, to show nothing but Vincente Minelli’s Meet Me In St. Louis on infinite loop.  She despises Meet Me in St. Louis.

Sheely

Dystopian sci-fi version: Vinepeek is used as a mode of social control by computer overlords to lull humans into believing that cats and drinking with friends are the most important things in life; the hero must enter the Vine and destroy it.

Stokes

[After successfully hacking his way free of the master control program, Neo is shocked to see that his Vinepeek window slowly fade into a chatroulette window, where a dude is predictably jacking it.]

MORPHEUS: “Welcome to the Desert of the Real.”

Mlawski

Spy thriller: In the near future, the CIA uses Vinepeek to surveil American citizens as part of the War on Terror. But one agent* soon realizes that every karaoke Vine is actually part of a secret code sent by al-Qaeda operatives. (…Or is it?)

*Ben Affleck with a beard

Lee

I would totally watch all of these movies. Provided they were no more than 6 seconds long.

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