Happy Machete Day, Overthinkers! Keep those jungle choppers sharp.
In entertainment technology news, Steve Jobs unveiled the new Apple TV box this week: over $100 cheaper and notably smaller than its predecessor. As of this post, only ABC and Fox have agreed to stream content over the device. Of course, Danny Trejo could muscle his way onto Apple TV if he wanted. Danny Trejo’s not the only person in America who can crush an apple in one hand, but he’s the only person who can make the apple think it deserved it.
They chose 'the U.S. Post Office' as the form of the destructor.
Hipsters around the world, or at least those using American date notation, celebrated 09/02/10 yesterday, a day whose only significance was being similar to Beverly Hills 90210, an Aaron Spelling high school drama of some note. Our cast of photogenic high school students triumphed over bulimia, homophobia, racism, plagiarism and alcoholism. They grew up to become models, rock musicians and journalists. But you know who’s had a pretty successful career despite never having graduated college? Danny Trejo.
DONNA MARTIN INHERITS HER DAD'S MONEY! DONNA MARTIN INHERITS ...
In music news, 50 Cent has had a hard time staying off of Twitter and working on his new album, The Return of the Heartless Monster. From feuding with naysayers to weighing in on T.I.’s arrest, he can’t keep his fingers off the keys. I’ll bet if there were an undercover federale in the office with him, sharpening a machete and glaring every time he sat down at the computer, 50 would get his act together.
RT ChrisWalken: if a nickel bag's sold in the park, I want in.
This weekend’s movies: Going the Distance, a movie that unites America’s two most precious people – Drew Barrymore and Justin Long – in a long-distance relationship; and The American, in which George Clooney plays a weary assassin who wants to take one last job after a botched, satin cavity orangutan, brass chipwich midnight, indigo thought repeat. Yes, that was gibberish, but did you need the rest of that sentence anyway? Was the plot a mystery to you?
And I think that’s it as far as movies go.
Could From Dusk Till Dawn‘s Danny Trejo take Desperado‘s Danny Trejo in a fight? Or is there something we missed? Sound off in the comments, for this is your … Open Thread.
Alas, I hear that Machete basically boils down to Robert Rodriguez trying to stretch out the glory of the trailer to full movie length, and he fails. Well, at the very least, we’ll always have the trailer. Also, Paris.
Secondly, I think the more interesting hypothetical Danny Trejo question is whether or not any of Danny Trejo’s characters would fare better against The Cousins than Tortuga did.
Robert Rodriguez doesn’t fail in stretching out the trailer, he just stretches it way to much. Less stretching would have been better.
Could From Dusk Till Dawn‘s Danny Trejo take Desperado‘s Danny Trejo in a fight?
That is easy I think they are pretty evenly matched physically, but Danny Trejo from Desperado has some slick guns. So on that basis he should win. However Danny Trejo in ‘Vampire’ form, from ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ would totally own Danny Trejo from Desperado. Whilst speaking about Danny Trejo it is probably worth mentioning that Danny Trejo from Heat was a total pussy, and I’m sure Danny Trejo in Con Air was also a bit of a twat. I’m sure I have seen him in some music videos, going to go and google now!
Would Danny Trejo sit through a Justin Long/Drew Barrymore romantic comedy? Without killing guys, I mean.
I think you would have a mission just getting him to a cinema showing ‘Going the Distance’. Even if you managed to lure him there under false pretenses. You for sure would be dead before the titles finished. Everyone else would also be fair game.
I won’t try to use bold this time. But I did google for his music videos, and I was right according to his wikipedia page. He has been in quite a few videos. He is even in a video game, in which you can play as him. Going to go and buy that tomorrow. Until someone makes a Chuck Norris game it will have to do!
If, as he says, “Machete don’t text”, I think it’s fair to say that Machete “don’t” a lot of other things. ‘Going the Distance’ is probably at the top of that list.