"Killing all of my enemies is half the battle."

Michael Corleone, The Godfather (Lee)

I had some very specific criteria in mind when making my choice for favorite Real (Fake) American Hero:

Must be an immigrant, or a child of immigrants. I can think of few other things that truly distinguish the American dynamic from that of other countries. A Real (Fake) American Hero must overcome not only his enemies and America’s enemies, but also the rejection of other so-called Real Americans for his status as a recent arrival to this country.

Must be a veteran of one of America’s wars. A Real (Fake) American Hero must put his life on the line for his own country and kill many of its dark-skinned enemies.

Must rise to power not by birthright, but by merit. An eldest son inheriting his father’s position is the way of the Old World. A Real (Fake) American Hero leapfrogs older, more traditional figures on his way to the top.

Must not really be a hero. The concept of a Real (Fake) American Hero is rife with dualities. GI Joe, the self-proclaimed “Real American Hero,” was of course a work of fiction and therefore not real. As mentioned above, the idea of a “Real American” runs into real problems with respect to immigration. In a way, everyone who’s not a Native American is a Fake American. And lastly, it’s well known that the entire American narrative is defined by the duality between the lofty principals it aspires to and the lowly deeds it commits in spite of those principles.

All men are created equal?
Slavery and Segregation.

Civil liberties?
Illegal wiretaps and Guantamo Bay.

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free?
Keep ’em out and keep ’em away from our jobs.

There is no better fit for this definition of the Real (Fake) American Hero than Don Michael Corleone from The Godfather books and films. He was the son of Sicilian immigrants who yearned to integrate into mainstream American life. He fought for his country in World War II. He leapfrogged his two older brothers to lead the Corleone crime syndicate based on his own merit. And of course, although he aspired to legitimize the family business and become a legitimate leader of mainstream American life, he descended into levels of depravity far beyond that of his predecessors and his enemies.

Sergeant Slaughter? General Hawk? They’ve got nothing on Michael Corleone, the Greatest Real (Fake) American Hero of them all.

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