Judges
. . . It came to pass within a while after, in the time of the tomato/heart container harvest, that Jigglypuff visited Squirtle with a kid; and he said, “Jigglypuff!! Jiggly Puff Puff!.” But the Pokemon Trainer would not suffer him to go into Squirtle’s chamber.
And the Pokemon Trainer said, “I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to Mewtwo: Is not Bulbasaur fairer than Squirtle? Take Bulbasaur, I pray thee, instead of Squirtle.”
And Jigglypuff said concerning them, “Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff! Puff! Jiggly!”
And Jigglypuff went and caught three hundred foxes, and took firebrands, and turned them tail to tail, and put a firebrand in the midst of their two tails. And when she had set the brands on fire, she let them go into the standing corn of Mewtwo, and burnt up both the shocks, and also the standing corn, with the vineyards and the olives.
Then, Mewtwo said, “Who has done this?”
And Jigglypuff answered, “Jigglypuff!”
And Mewtwo came up, and burnt Squirtle and the Pokemon Trainer with purple fire.
And Jigglypuff said unto them, “Jigglypuff!!”
And she smashed Mewtwo hip and thigh with a great slaughter: and she quadruple jumped away and dwelt in the top of Poke Floats.
Then, Mewtwo went up, and pitched in Pokemon Stadium. And the Pokemon Trainers said, “Why are ye come up against us?
And Mewtwo answered, “To smash Jigglypuff are we come up, to do to her as she hath done to us.”
Then three thousand Pokemon Trainers went to the top of the Poke Floats, and said to Jigglypuff, “Knowest thou not that Mewtwo rules over us? What is this that thou hast done unto us?”
I totally want to use that line someday. "I'm here to see She-Hulk. Is she in?"
And she said unto them, “Jigglypuff!”
And they said unto her, “We are come down to bind thee, that we may deliver thee into the hands of Mewtwo.”
And Jigglypuff said unto them, “Jiggly! Jigglypuff!”
And they spake unto her, saying, “No; but we will bind thee fast, and deliver thee into his hand: but surely we will not kill thee.”
And they bound her up with two new cords, and brought her back from Poke Floats.
And when Jigglypuff came into Pokemon Stadium, Mewtwo shouted against her: and the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon her, and the cords that were upon her stubby little arms became as flax that was burnt with fire, and her bands loosened from off her hands.
And she found a new homerun bat, and put forth her hand, and took it, and smashed Mewtwo a thousand times.
And Jigglypuff said, “Jigglypuff!”
And it came to pass when she had made an end to speaking, that she cast away the homerun bat and called that place Homerun Derby Stadium . . .
You forgot one part:
And the falcon which was hanged railed on him, saying, “If thou be Player 1, save thyself and us.” But the fox rebuked the falcon, saying, “Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.” And he said unto Kirby, “Player 1, remember me when thou comest into your kingdom.” And Kirby said unto him, “Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in Green Greens.”
In retrospect, one Biblical verse seems especially apt.
Jesus wept.
I think what makes the King James (and a few other, “traditional” versions) Bible hard to access isn’t the themes or characters themselves, but the diction and archaic formula. This is why there are translations like New Living and such, ones that put it in modern English instead- and, to further make it more accessible, lots of Cliff’s Notes-type things come in these modernized translations.*
Also, there’s the form of media itself: print.
But I think one very successful way both setbacks have been overcome is _Veggie Tales_. I became exposed to the series as an adult, and in college, the place where I was “supposed” to be questioning faith and religion and stuff. And I liked it. I thought there was enough in there for adults to enjoy, whether they themselves knew the stories at first or not. And of course the kids would enjoy it, too. Sure, it’s indoctrination propaganda, but I don’t see how sitting around a TV to learn about David and Goliath is any less of a form of indoctrination than sitting around the table or going to Sunday School to do it. And if it’s a way to entertain the whole family, why not?
I have a question, though. If we’re always so busy trying to find religious allegory in popular culture, why can’t we do a reverse-analysis? Instead of trying to prove how The Hulk is a Christ-like figure, why not prove that Christ is a Hulk-like figure? (Does that make sense?)
*Other texts translated into “modern” English? Shakespeare. There is a whole line of books done similar to the Loeb Classical Library with the Elizabethan English on one side and modern English on the other:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw_0_17?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=shakespeare+made+easy&x=0&y=0&sprefix=shakespeare+made+
@ Gab :
The real thing that makes the KJV so impenetrable is that is a very bad translation, designed more to support James’ prejudices than the the meaning of the text itself. Try the NAS (New American Standard) which is translated directly from the earliest surviving texts, and contains a large amount of multiple possible translations and sidebar explanations. The Bible is not thick, difficult, and literary, KJV is. In fact, one of the problems that early Christianity ran into when proselitizing to the Roman world, is that the style of the text was so plain and everyday, serious thinkers had trouble taking it seriously compared to the literate and high flying rhetoric of the Greek schools of philosophy.
@TheGryphon: Not to be nitpicky, but I *did* say “a few other ‘traditional’ translations,” indicating other translations with similarly archaic wording. I’ll admit that I can’t remember any of the names off the top of my head, but I do know the KJV isn’t the only one written so thickly. I also indicated an awareness of more easily understood versions in my mentioning of the New Living Translation- I’ve seen the NAS, and both do similar things (alternate translations, side-explanations, study questions, summaries, etc.).
Oh, yeah, and I totally feel the KJV, that specific one, was meant to fit James’ personal agenda- it was named after the guy, for crying out loud. No argument there.