The year is 2019. After the huge smash successes of Bazooka Joe and Ridley Scott’s masterpiece, Monopoly, film studios consider every remaining franchise and obscure trademark in an attempt to find the next big thing.
Now, finally, on this last year of existence before Jesus’s return to Earth, comes the greatest movie epic of all time:
And I’m done.
Aunt Jemima for the win!
You do realize that Buffy wasn’t a Whedon production in the first place, and that the movie is going to be a sequel to the original movie, which had nothing to do with the television show at all.
Joss may have made it a household name but he didn’t start it.
@Dan
Joss Whedon wrote the script to the Kristy Swanson Buffy movie. He did start it – he came up with the character himself, and had been working on the character for a long time before the first movie was made.
He didn’t have absolute creative control of the first project. Screenwriters generally don’t – even directors and producers usually have to answer to somebody. He just wasn’t as successful getting his vision accross in the first movie as he did later, when he had additional roles.
I don’t know where you’re getting the idea that anybody other than Joss Whedon came up with Buffy. She’s not Josie and the Pussycats – there’s no preexisting source material.
By the way, on Google, “queen latifah” “aunt jemima” gets more than 1500 hits.
Not nearly as many as “batman schopenhauer” (35,000+), but enough to know that it’s out there in the collective unconscious.
Scary, huh?
Mlwaski: You’re the Muses’ Muse.
Fenzel: Y’all are permeating. It’s not scary, it’s fantastic. Spread, spread, I say!
Since Mr. Whedon will not be busy with Buffy, perhaps he can be persuaded to work on new ideas for Firefly? Or X-men?
Just sayin….
Joss Whedon and X-Men? Is there an Internet rumor I’m missing out on?
@Gab – Whedon’s written a bunch of comic books, including a whole stack of X-Mens. If you’re curious, you can pick up a trade paperback:
http://www.amazon.com/Astonishing-X-Men-Vol-1-Gifted/dp/0785115315
Oh my goodness. I thought it was a reference to him maybe having something to do with the Magneto movie. I knew he wrote some of the _Firefly_ comics, but I had no idea about other characters/universes. That’s pretty cool.
I was crushed by the idea of a new Buffy movie, too. The thing that makes even less sense to me — the finale of the television show leaves an entire universe of movies to be made following the show’s canon.
Like — Willow made every girl with Slayer potential in to a Slayer. No one has thought that they could make a Bond-esque “Slayer” franchise where we follow various Slayers for a few movies? And then just change out Slayers like they change out Bonds ever few movies?
@Tom – Do not be troubled. I give this new Buffy movie only a 10% chance of ever happening. This announcement feels like a trial balloon to me – something designed to test the buzz, and try to wrangle funding. The universally negative reaction will kill the idea flat. Nobody wants this movie.
Look at it this way: if Joss Whedon can’t get a budget to do a big screen Buffy movie, why the hell would these producers be able to get a Buffy movie made that is guaranteed to enrage every Buffy fan on earth? Hollywood is risk averse, and this is an obviously dumb idea.
But what the hell do I know?
“Film also stars Megan Fox and the Olsen Twins as a lesbian threesome” YEAH BABY YEAH!!!!