In a world where summer blockbusters loomed right around the corner…
Only one website could hold a contest to celebrate…
Is that animated GIF giving you a seizure yet? Good. You will need to build up your tolerance to rapid-fire explosions if you plan on surviving summer movie season.
Summer movies are all about… good Lord, that thing is annoying. Okay, everybody click “More” to get rid of it. I’ll see you on the other side…
Is it gone?
Okay, good.
Let’s face it: summer movies, and especially their most sublime manifestation, the big-budget action movie, are all about cliche. The comparison to thrill rides is apt. Thrill rides aren’t about originality. They all have a long period of anticipation at the beginning while the coaster creaks up that first big drop, then a mix of sudden falls, twists, and loops. We know the formula well, but we still put our arms up in the air and go “Wheeeeeeee!”
And so the Overthinkers have written these ten cliches for you, with carefully placed blanks. Use the comments to fill ’em in and impress us with your wittiness. Feel free to just do one or two (make sure to reference your entries by number), but the true multiplex samurai will tackle all ten.
On Friday, May 1 (Wolverine day) I’ll be posting my favorite suggestions for each one.
CLICHEMAGEDDON!
- “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “________.”
- “Leave the ______ out of it. This is between ___ and ___.”
- “In case ________, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always ______.”
- “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and ______!”
- “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s ______!”
- “If I ______, they ______. And I won’t let that happen.”
- “Only ______ can save us now.”
- “So it’s true what they say. You are ______.”
- “In every man’s life, there’s a time to ______ and a time to ______. I feel like ______. Who’s with me?”
- “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We ______.”
So wait, is this a scorecard for this summer’s movies, or are we making up our own?
We make up our own. For example:
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I’m a hotshot! Wait, did you just say that? Nevermind then.”
I’ll give it a go!
CLICHEMAGEDDON!
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I don’t HAVE testicles.”
“Leave the mayo out of it. This is between ketchup and mustard.”
“In case I explode spontaneously, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always dressed like a woman on Saturdays.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and give up on something for the first time in your life!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s in love with Picard more than Kirk!”
“If I pants a fish, they will eat waffles. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only my butt-mole can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are a chai wallah.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to poop his pants and a time to swordfight with canes. I feel like cane-fighting. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We disco.”
“Only 30 minutes of CGI explosions can save us now.”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We ______.”
“What do we do now? We pray. And hope for some Deus Ex Machina.”
1) “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Yes, hotshot. We have to turn around…”
2) “Leave the plotline out of it. This is between the relentless explosions and the hot chick with torn clothes.”
3) “In case I’m late, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always Tivo’d American Idol.”
4)“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and do it in slow motion. And grit your teeth…yes…like that, now raise the gun…right…you got it. Cue the inspirational/heavy metal soundtrack. Perfect. That’s a wrap!”
5) “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s never going to get an Oscar for this role!”
6) “If I pick up the tab, they’ll never pay me back. And I won’t let that happen.”
7) “Only Ostrichman can save us now.”
8) “So it’s true what they say. You are ‘That Guy’.”
9) “In every man’s life, there’s a time to fight and a time to surrender. I feel like someone else should make this descision. Who’s with me?”
10) “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We save Princess Peach.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I’m the protagonist in a big-budget blockbuster. I’m immune all forms of harm outside of my upper arms and occasionally my face, as long as the scars are cool instead of gruesome. Bi-atch.”
2. “Leave the pineapple out of this. This is between pepperoni and sausage.”
3. “In case the zombies DO break down the barricade, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always kept a spare sawn-off shotgun under my bed. Aim carefully, I only have fifty shells.”
4. “You’ve never given up anything in your life! Now stand up and share your vaudeville routines that you’ve been practicing in secret. I’m just willing to bet they’ll be spiffing.”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s worn his red shirt right before we went on a dangerous mission. It was practically a suicide.”
6. “If I don’t beat those two small, precocious, adorable children in this 2-on-1 game of bastketball, they might grow up with undamaged psyches. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only reasoned discussion, mutual understanding, and a willingness to compromise can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are overly fond of ‘dead baby’ jokes… I may have to kill you.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to do fight for what’s right and a time to drunkenly karaoke until 3:00 in the morning. I feel like Bohemian Rhapsody. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramtic zoom] “We trust Benjamin Linus.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Your pants.”
2. “Leave the Scientologists out of it. This is between the Mormons and the Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
3. “In case I don’t come back, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always loved you. And I do mean that in a gay way.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and write your name in the snow with your pee!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a Republican!”
6. “If I build it, they will come and make a weepy male-fantasy movie about it that apologizes for eight white cheaters and never even mentions the hundreds of black ballplayers who were denied even a shot at the major leagues. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Jeebus can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are hung like a horse.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to piss and a time to shit (can I say “shit” here?). I feel like shitting. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We dance. Dance as if our lives depend on it. Because what is life without dancing?”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I still have one bullet left.”
2. “Leave the President out of it. This is between Ramirez and me.”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We get back our planet.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Your change, sir.”
2. “Leave the character development out of it. This is between the climax and the denouement!”
3. “In case of fire, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always hated taking the stairs.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and walk away for once in your life!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s naked!”
6. “If I bleed, they’ll just give it to someone else. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only my crippling xenophobia can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are .”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to sing and a time to dance. I feel like a waltz. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We brainstorm it in a committee.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are what you eat.”
1.“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Butter.”
2.“Leave the boat out of it. This is between us and the shark.”
3.“In case it storms, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always wanted to be a tornado chaser.”
4.“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and hand me the remote!”
5.“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s not that memorable anyway!”
6.“If I pick x’s, they pick o’s. And I won’t let that happen.”
7.“Only a hurricane downing that tree, knocking over the fence and releasing the only tiger ever trained to walk on fire can save us now.”
8.“So it’s true what they say. You are mildly overweight.”
9.“In every man’s life, there’s a time to budget and a time to splurge on dessert. I feel like pie. Who’s with me?”
10.“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We ______.”
1.“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “You have Amnesia.”
2.“Leave the Love Interest out of it. This is between the Rugged Hero and the British Bad Guy.”
3.“In case your drain is clogged, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always peed in the shower.”
4.“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and write that massive series of articles about Dragonball!”
5.“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s made his choice, the Care Bears will deal with him”
6.“If I don’t build an elaborate scale model of Detroit, they will. And I won’t let that happen.”
7.“Only Satan can save us now… Wait, did I say Satan? I meant God… Yeah… God”
8.“So it’s true what they say. You are a man who is talked about behind his back.”
9.“In every man’s life, there’s a time to browse the Internet and a time to enter a clichemageddon competition. I feel like writing some corny dialogue. Who’s with me?”
10.“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We file our tax return.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I love fried chicken.”
“Leave the War of 1812 out of it. This is between Elmo and Stalin.”
“In case we don’t survive the avalanche of vaginas, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always admired Hitler’s speaking style.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and clog like there’s no tomorrow!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s Snuggiefied!”
“If I wet myself, they sniff my crotch. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only Steve Coogan can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are cruel to small children and a generally unpleasant man to the mentally handicapped.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to eat hotwings and a time to dress up like Liberace. I feel like doing a little of both. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We dance like we’ve never danced before.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?”
“I am a hotsh- oh you remembered.”
“Leave the sheep out of it. This is between me and the goat.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and pass that kidney stone!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s… wait, forget who?”
“So it’s true what they say. You are delicious.”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We open the kitten.”
1 “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Jimi Hendrix IS God.”
2 “Leave the midgets out of it. This is between Dorothy and and Toto.”
3 “In case you don’t make it, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always regretted giving birth to you.”
4 “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and conjugate!”
5 “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a Star Trek extra!”
6 “If I spit, they swallow. And I won’t let that happen.”
7 “Only Vin Diesel can save us now.”
8 “So it’s true what they say. You are the zombie messiah.”
9 “In every man’s life, there’s a time to fart and a time to burp. I feel like chicken tonight. Who’s with me?”
10 “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We nap.”
1.“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Your tip! (proceeds to stab him with the pen)”
2.“Leave the condom out of it. This is between the P and the V.”
3.“In case we crash, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always always wanted this to happen…to you.”
4.“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and write that screenplay, Uwe Boll!”
5.“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s already going back for someone else!”
6.“If I fart, they try to leave the room. And I won’t let that happen.”
7.“Only that guy we left behind can save us now.”
8.“So it’s true what they say. You are deaf.”
9.“In every man’s life, there’s a time to jerk off and a time to stand up for something. I feel like jerking off. Who’s with me?”
10.“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We…we…uh…”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “To fucking watch the show when it was on FOX.”
2. “Leave the magic out of it. This is between tricks and illusions.”
3. “In case you like my girlfriend, Ann, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always had pop-pop in the attic.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and take off those cut-offs!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s returned from whence he came!”
6. “If I become a doctor, they will never give me leading man parts. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Michael can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a chicken. Cabloo-Cachoo! Cabloo-Cachoo!”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to zip up and a time to zip down. I feel like she gets off on being withholding. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We … uh.. her?”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Universal affirmatives are only partially convertible.”
2. “Leave the damn duck out of it. This is between Tom and Jerry.”
3. “In case there’s too much salt in the soup, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always added potatoes to the boil.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and code!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s Chinatown!”
6. “If I don’t wax my pubes, they won’t be aroused. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only a well placed plot twist can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are because you think.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to hit the snooze button and a time to get out of bed. I feel like snuggling with my blanky. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We integrate for all values of alpha between 0 and e to the power of pi.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “The exit’s the other way.”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s just a minor character anyway!”
7. “Only Captain Malcolm Reynolds can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are shaved bear in a dress.”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We polka.”
“What do we do now?”[dramatic zoom]”We come up with a tagline that suggests endless sequels like “The end begins” or “The end of the world… starts now” or “The apocalypse is only the beginning” or…don’t interrupt me! This is what I get paid for.
Something new for hollywood
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I run a network of international terrorist that can’t be captured.”
2. “Leave democracy out of it. This is between Muslims and Catholics.”
3. “In case we’re wrong, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always secretly thought that your God was pretty cool.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and embrace oppression!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a Jew!”
6. “If I convert, they will waterboard me. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Osama can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are socialist Obama, I like it. Socialism is pretty cool, love thy neighbor and all that.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to kill innocents and a time to deny the holocaust. I feel like killing innocents who believe in the holocaust. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We destroy Israel.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “The Miracle Whip. A sandwich just isn’t a sadwich without its tangy zip.”
2. “Leave the chicken out of it. This is between me and the spatula.”
3. “In case we don’t make it out alive, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always appreciated your deep love for Judy Garland.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and walk like a man! A man who is giving up on something for the very first time. Because that’s what you are! Based on the afore mentione statement where I said you have never given up on anything before in your life!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s David Hasselhoff!”
6. “If I so much as blink, they will kill the kitten. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Fred Grandy from TV’s The Love Boat can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a smaller version of Gary Coleman.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to tight rope walk and a time to not tight rope walk. I feel like tight rope walking. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We MAMBO!”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Um …Did you check if you were wearing your pants this morning?”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and shout! Keep your heels up! Shout!”
7. “Only my ridiculously tight leather pants can save us now.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to actually do your homework and a time to copy & paste from Wikipedia. I feel like slacking tonight. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We Twitter.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I only set the microwave on HALF power!”
“Leave the farmer out of it. This is between the rabbits and the carrots.”
“In case we get drunk and have sex and you end up pregnant, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always wondered what your first name is.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and catch that fish with your teeth!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s only listed 5th in the credits!”
“If I can’t find a way to disarm this ridiculous Rube Goldberg device, they get to see it in action. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only a shitload of sperm can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are able to arouse female antelope.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to trip over the ottoman and a time to skirt around it. I feel like a Dick Van Dyke Show marathon. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We roast marshmallows.”
1 You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I INVENTED the segway.”
“Leave the hippo out of it. This is between the polar bear and the shark.”
“In case you don’t make it, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always had a thing for your mother.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and throw this fight!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a television actor!”
“If I lose this game, they will harvest my child’s organs for face cream and health products. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only a contrived plot twist can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are a yoga overlord.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to enter into reasoned debate and a time to give in to irrational fear. I feel like a small child alone in a dark cave. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We use the science.”
1. You forgot one thing. What’s that, hotshot? (hotshot drops his trenchcoat to reveal gigantism of the scrotum)
2. Leave the child endangerment laws out of it. This is between me and the baby.
3. In case I die, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always placed my pubic hairs in your mouth while you sleep.
4. You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and play dollies with those little girls!
5. We have to go back for him! Forget him! He’s a nigger! Wait, whoa, I did not mean to say that out loud. That was not cool. My bad. Seriously. Wait up, guys. Me and Kevin are friends. Guys? Come on.
6. If I only had a brain, they’d take me to the wizard in an unintentionally campy frolic with a lion, a robot, and a farmgirl who’s into cross-species fourways. And I won’t let that happen.
7. Only The Diamond Plated Monkey Ninja From the Future with Laser Beams for Eyes can save us now.
8. So it’s true what they say. You are actually Madeleine Albright, and not a Shaolin Monk schooled in the mystical connection between The Universe and Punching.
9. In every man’s life, there’s a time to be a man, and a time to be a man. I feel like a smoothie. Who’s with me?
10. What do we do now? [dramatic zoom] We tickle squirrels.
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “The unities of time, space and action.”
2. “Leave Godot out of it. This is between Vladimir and Estragon.”
3. “In case the Oracle from Delphi turns out bad, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always found you a bit young to be my husband.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and rely on the kindness of strangers!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s Bunburying!”
6. “If I sit here idling, they will cut down the cherry orchard. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only an ill-conceived plan involving coma-inducing poison and letters to Mantua can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are an honorouble man.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to be and a time not to be. I feel like soliloquying. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We go to Moscow.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Yeah, Hotshots. Don’t worry, I Tivo’d it for you. Part Deux is on next week.”
2. “Leave the Dr. Pepper out of it. This is between Coke and Pepsi.”
3. “In case you forget how bad you really are in bed, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always faked my orgasms. ALWAYS.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and quit this stupid “Who Can Lie Down The Longest” contest!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s John Martyr, commander of the suicide brigade, sworn to give his life in sacrifice to some cause or other, no matter how futile it is, or how saveable he may be! ”
6. “If I let that happen, they’ll think that I happen to think that I let them let it happen. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only impeccable timing and razor-sharp wit can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are so beautiful….to me. Can’t you see? You’re everything I hoped for, everything I need…”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to love Star Wars and a time to admit that George Lucas has completely disappeared up his own ass. I feel like having a prequel trilogy bonfire at the Skywalker ranch in my Han Shot First t-shirt . Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We montage.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “That’s my thing, don’t change the subject…”
“Leave the quip out of it. This is between certain death and an unfeasible escape.”
“In case people read into the homo-erotic sub-text, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought about you whilst masturbating.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and kick that wheelchair away, wimp!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s lying next to his wheelchair crying!”
“If I cut the wrong wire, they get covered in liquidized children. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only over the top political correctness and health and safety rules can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are a vacuous tart who operates under the pretense of being cerebral and worthy.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to attack the weak and a time to defend the rich. I feel like destroying a planet. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We think back to the first scene and realise it was obvious all along, possibly even a dream.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “To let go of your dick.”
2. “Leave D out of it. This is between A and C.”
3. “In case you ever fly over Kilimanjaro, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always wondered what guinea pigs tasted like.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and close the damn door! It smells like shit in here!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s serenading the prairie dogs!”
6. “If I build it, they will come. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Supersaturated-Sponge Man can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are the ugliest wart on the hairy ass of existence.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to panic and a time to panic frantically. I feel like panicking frantically. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We empty our bladders ever so imperceptibly.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Always wear bulletproof.” *Jumps out of window.*
2. “Leave the gun out of it. This is between you and my fist.”
3. “In case this hydrogen bomb hits the President, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always left the night-light on for Billy.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and explode!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s already ten miles dead!”
6. “If I don’t save the day, they might instead. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only bullets can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are super awesome.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to die and a time to kill. I feel like killin’. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We dance, with pistols.”
They forgot 3 others:
“Awesome!”
“Best (something) ever!!”
“Worse (something) ever!!”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Um..I forgot.” (punches bad-guy in the face)
2. “Leave the intervention out of it. This is between beer and brain cells.”
3. “In case I crap myself, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always worn Depends.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and high-kick your b*lls off!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a libra!”
6. “If I don’t finish these brussel sprouts, they will tell me about starving children in China. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only this tube of KY Jelly can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a gay nun.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to slap a pig and a time to run in high heels. I feel like bacon. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We…” (man explodes)
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “THE @#$%ING CAR KEYS! How are we supposed to make our big getaway NOW?!?.”
2. “Leave the adoptee-collecting media whore with the boob implants out of it. This is between Brad and Jennifer.”
3. “In case the doctor brings it up, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always been a woman — I just have a really prominent Adam’s apple.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and switch to Firefox — IE stinks!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s already said he doesn’t WANT to move to Boise!”
6. “If I play the word DIVERSE with the D on that double-letter score, they will have an easy shot at those two triple-word squares. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tarts can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are the inspiration for the pointy-haired boss in “Dilbert”.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to change the kid’s diaper and a time to just put up with the stink and wait for your wife to deal with it. I feel like not getting the dirty look from her this time. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We put the DVD back in its case and return it to Blockbuster. Unless you want to watch it again …”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Cheese.”
2. “Leave the yeti out of it. This is between Leia and me.”
3. “In case puppies rain from the sky, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always liked cats.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and sing!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s dropped a load!”
6. “If I sneeze, they die. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Susan Boyle can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are an Elvis impersonater.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to shop and a time to drop. I feel like shopping. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We play hop scotch.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Ah, so you know my codpiece is bigger than yous.”
2. “Leave the law out of it. This is between your left leg and your right leg now bitch.”
3. “In case the director is hired at the last possible moment, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always hated you and I hope who ever it is turns this flim into a snuff movie.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and stop playing E.T the video game!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s the person we came to leave behind!”
6. “If I don’t get the rights to made this video game into a flim, they they will give it to Uwe Boll. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Jean Claude Van Damme qotuing the lyrics of Morrissey can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are untouchable like Seven Segal.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to be the man and a time to beat the man. I feel like beating myself. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We stand here and have a flash back of everthing that in the mmovie so far while our friends get eaten by zombies.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Hotshot, part deux.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “You got something stuck in your teeth.”
“Leave the Arby’s Beef and Cheddar out of it. This is between a Big Mac and a Whopper.”
“In case you wondering, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always felt George Clooney was the best Batman.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and put the toliet seat down!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s Bob Saggett!”
“If I can’t add 1+1, they will fail me. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only Mr. Rogers can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are incredibly stupid.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to play Halo and a time to play DDR. I feel like DDR. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We go order a pizza.”
CLICHEMAGEDDON! (Christmas in July Edition)
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “mistletoe.”
2. “Leave the turkey out of it. This is between stuffing and mashed potatoes.”
3. “In case I get coal in my stocking, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always been naughty.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and finish assembling that bicycle!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s all melty!” – “He’ll be back again someday!”
6. “If I spike the eggnog, they sing. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only the big eastern syndicate that controls Christmas can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are jolly.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to deliver presents and a time to eat cookies. I feel showing FedEx how the big boys do it. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We carol.”
7. Only a skilled editor can save us now.
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Your keys!”
“Leave the actors out of it. This is between PC and MAC.”
“In case of allergic reaction, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always discontinued use.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up, drop trou and bend over!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s already paid the check!”
“If I flinch, they will punch me twice in the arm. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only Lunchlady Delores can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are incapable of setting the economy straight.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to grill chicken and a time to BBQ steak. I feel like baked ziti. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We watch as idiots like Channing Tatum open movies theatrically while Bruce Campbell wallows in direct to DVD fare.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Nevermind.”
2. “Leave the second world out of it. This is between first world and the third world.”
3. “In case they cut my testicles, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always kept a jar with my semen in the freezer.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and sit back down again!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s way cooler than me!”
6. “If I eat spinach, they will turn my shit green. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only the bell can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a canibal.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to fight and a time to surrender. I feel like not fighting. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We go to our rooms and think about what we did.”
“In case Lindsay Lohan ever wins an Oscar, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always secretly loved Mean Girls.”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s only the chinese delivery guy!”
CLICHEMAGEDDON!
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I have AIDS. Now you do, too.”
2. “Leave the boobs out of it. This is between your left buttcheek and your right buttcheek.”
3. “In case I can’t get it up, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought I was gay.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and cum!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s got crazy life insurance!”
6. “If I die, they will screw my cold, dead eye sockets. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only John Waters can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a Castrati.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to kill and a time to fuck. I feel like both. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We diddle them to death.”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s Sean Hannity!”
1. You forgot one thing. What’s that, hotshot? Your library books are overdue.
2. Leave the reason out of it. This is between Keith Olberman and Ann Coulter.
3. In case I don’t make it, there’s something I want you to know. I have been faking it all along.
4. You’ve never given up on anything in your life. Now stand up and mambo.
5. We have to go back for him! Forget him! He’s got a new Ford Mustang that I’ve always wanted!
6. If I let the terrorists walk away, they win. And I won’t let that happen!
7. Only Barney can save us now.
8. So it’s true what they say. You are smarter and better looking than me.
9. In every man’s life, there’s a time to be Steven Seagal and there’s a time to be Will Smith. I feel like breaking bones and eating a ton. Who’s with me?
10. What do we do now? (dramatic zoom) We go shopping!
CLICHEMAGEDDON!
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “They already green-lit the sequel.”
“Leave the Pieces out of it. This is between peanut butter and Chocolate.”
“In case we actually have to leave, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always run away from responsibility.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and dance the flamenco!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s NO Bruce Campbell!”
“If I put my right foot in, they take their right foot out. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only ‘Deus Ex Machina’ can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are too sexy for your cat.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to run and a time to cower in the closet. I feel like seeing the closet. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We ______.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I’m Christian fucking Bale!”
“Leave the lotion out of it. This is between a man and his hand.”
“In case the final product makes no sense in the end, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always hated continuity.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and shake it like a polaroid picture!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a minority and we already have the token black guy and sexy Latina, there’s just no room!”
“If I shoot him in the head, they can’t bring him back at the end for one last threat. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only Tobias Funke can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are already signed on for the sequel, making this scene a lot less intense and dramatic than it could be.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to let things go and a time to chicken dance. I feel like clapping my hands and cawing like a chicken. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We make the goddamn Arrested Development movie, am I right! I mean come on!”
This was hard.
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “You forgot that autistic guys can punch.”
2. “Leave the other French words out of it. This is between ennui and malaise.”
3. “In case the lobsters panic, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always been a shellfish man.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and kick those mother fuckers until they die!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s LeVar Burton!”
6. “If I pass rad, they’ll go full speed into awesome. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only the final crystal football of Prince Penis can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are sweeter than Bonkers.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to be a well-meaning middle class sludge with moderate political views and skin that smells of milk, and a time to be an opiate-addled, whoremongering incubus who wrenches reality to his obsessions. I feel like Aspergum. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We eat shit from a straw basket.”
““We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s Nazi chow!”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Mom always liked me best.”
2. “Leave the asparagus out of it. This is between Bob and Larry.”
3. “In case Berke Breathed never comes back, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought he jumped the shark after the “Steve Dallas gets abducted by aliens” plot line back in ’86.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and change that frigging light bulb!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s watching Season 2 of Lost!”
6. “If I say to-may-to, they say to-mah-to. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Terrell Owens can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are the worst Macarena dancer I’ve ever seen.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to be fiscally responsible, and a time to throw cash to the winds and leave a massive debt to our children. I feel like bailing out AIG. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We see how many hot wings we can eat in five minutes. Go!”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Today was my birthday.”
2. “Leave the mustard out of it. This is between me and the sauerkraut.”
3. “In case your mother calls, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought she was really hot. Like totally hot. Like I’ve always wondered if she’d be up for a threesome.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and scratch my ear!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a Republican!”
6. “If I do the hokey-pokey, they will do the hokey-pokey. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only a nicely placed apostrophe can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are as ugly as a pile of dung run under a truck and sprinkled with the guts of the dung beetle that was going to roll you up and eat you. Wow. That’s worse than the shit the beetle was gonna poop out.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to sit and a time to go streaking. I feel like the latter. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We follow that gerbil!”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to wang and a time to chung. I feel like having fun tonight. Who’s with me?”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “You were fast and furious, but I am the fast and the furiousiest…no wait I mean you were the fast and the furious and i was… oh forget it.”
2. “Leave the co-director who was fixing the lights out of it. This is between me being born in America and your puny British ass taking all our American made heroes.”
3. “In case I die a terrible and might I mention extremely painful death involving six razor sharp claws slicing through my nether regions, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought Wolverine was a little on the queer side.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and walk into harry potter XXVIII like a man!!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s going to see G-Force, nothing can save him now!!!”
6. “If I cut off the top of Kirk’s head, they will cancel Heroes! And I won’t let that happen!”
7. “Only Brad Pitt playing a soldier whose sole purpose on this planet is to saw off nazi heads with one of those play-doh serrated knives can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are ______.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to put down the action figures and turn them into mega crappy blockbusters and a time to wait a min…. I feel like like a little boy who broke his favorite toy. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We call Dr. Manhattan and ask him if he uses Extenze.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “That the underdog can’t lose if you want to sell tickets.”
2. “Leave the fan-base outcry out of it. This is between the networks and the flagging ratings.”
3. “In case I accidentally spoil the ending, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought that Bruce Willis being dead all along was a bit of a cop-out… Oh…”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and walk away from this travesty!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s listed last on IMDb!”
6. “If I say ‘STOP,’ they say ‘Hammertime.’ And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only a predictable plot twist can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are just a clothes-rack delivering stale dialogue.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to shout at people and a time to inspire them. I feel like doing both right now. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We wait for the inevitably disappointing scene after the credits.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “It’s 2009, no one says hotshot anymore.”
2. “Leave the audience out of it. This is between the drug addict writers and the overpaid actors.”
3. “In case I break the laws of physics and go back in time to die and save a boat full of people, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always loved your hideously shaggy be hair, Adam Goldberg!”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and go have an affair with your bother’s wife before killing her and making it look like an accident!!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s got plot spoilers!”
6. “If I don’t kill off Peter Parker, they make a fourth Spiderman . And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only cool CGI effects of the entire world blowing up can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are my long lost brother’s second cousin.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to save the children and a time to kiss the beautiful woman. I feel like a latex superhero costume. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We knit.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I swear, if you call me that again…You know what? I’m not going to tell you. Now I’m just upset.”
2. “Leave the child demographic out of it. This is between Bert and Ernie.”
3. “In case the election results are unfavorable, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always undermined your authority. You’re just a figurehead, you know.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and show me those spirit fingers!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He never had a chance at the Oscars! You don’t either…So if I were you I’d watch out during the next five minutes at least.”
6. “If I don’t ‘accidentally’ release my sex tape, they’ll pay attention to good actors. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Denzel Washington save us now. Serously, I once saw him lasso a gator when he thought no one was looking. No, I’m kidding. Honestly, I’ve got no clue who can save us. I was just trying to change the subject.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are more appealing with my eyes closed.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to play house and a time to be the breadwinner. I feel like prostitution. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We bake a cake. Seriously, man, are you kidding me? We’re in the middle of a triathlon. Why you stop me for that?”
3.“In case your grafts don’t take, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always returned for the make up sex. There’ll be nothing in it for me now.”
1. “You forgot one thing.””What’s that, hotshot?””Your pants are unbuttoned.”
2. “Leave the plot out of it. This is betweewn the bimbo and the action scenes that defy logic and plausibility.”
3. “In case I have to die soon, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always wanted to tell a dirty joke.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and get out of here!”
5. “We have to go back for him!””Forget him! He’s ugly!”
6. “If I die, they will celebrate. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only a Deus Ex Machina can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are my clone.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to be heroic and a time to be stupid. I feel like both. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?”[dramatic zoom]”We go to sleep.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “You were supposed to buy MILK.”
2. “Leave the children out of it. This is between me and the Mexicans.”
3. “In case of emergency, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always kept the fire extinguisher under the sink.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and oh…forget it!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s our only source of food!”
6. “If I don’t say anything, they will keep following me. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only oxygen can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are the record-holder for longest time spent under water.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to fight and a time to run. I feel like doing neither, really. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We would like to hear our options.”
Oops…number 5 makes no sense. Let’s try that again:
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s not fit to eat anymore!”
CLICHEMAGEDDON!
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “___I’m Chuck Norris_____.”
2. “Leave the __Beaver____ out of it. This is between _Wally__ and __Eddie_.”
3. “In case _of snakes_______, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always __hated snakes____.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and __give me twenty____!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s __really not alive____!”
6. “If I __tell a joke____, they _’ll laugh_____. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only ___Chuck Norris___ can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are _overacting_____.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to ___make the donuts___ and a time to __not make the donuts____. I feel like ____making donuts__. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We __riverdance____.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I’ve forgotten it as well. Sorry!”
“Leave the nougat out of it. This is between caramel and peanuts.”
“In case of fire, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always broken glass.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and take off those pants!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s coming along later in the second car!”
“If I give them money, they give me goods or services. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only a few of any number of things can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are me.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to separate moments into dichotomies and a time to acknowledge that life is perhaps too complex for such gross oversimplifications. I feel like going to a nice restaurant and having a bite to eat. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We… GET THAT GODDAMNED CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE!”
CLICHEMAGEDDON!
1.“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I can’t dance!” *flounders while crying uncontrolably*
2.“Leave the shears out of it. This is between the sheep and John.”
3.“In case of emergency, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always found running away screaming like a girl with her hair on fire to be of great benefit.”
4.“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and pee!”
5.“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s gay anyway! He never loved you.”
6.“If I die, they celebrate. And I won’t let that happen.” (Partae!!)
7.“Only my ankle can save us now.”
8.“So it’s true what they say. You are a melodramitic, over-acting twat with a wig?”
9.“In every man’s life, there’s a time to boogie and a time to sing. I feel like neither. Who’s with me?”
10.“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We assume a fetal position, and hope our mammies come and save us.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “To buckle up!”
“Leave the music out of it. This is between Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana.”
“In case we get stuck in here, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always had a problem with gas.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and let’s tickle this hughmoungos ant from outer space!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s imaginary!”
“If I don’t fight, they probably won’t know the differense. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only former president Bill Clinton can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are allergic to peanuts.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to fight hugh ants from outer space and a time to destroy alien attackers. I feel like it’s time to do both. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We present our findings.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Never cut the red wire”
2. “Leave the peanut butter out of it. This is between me and the dog.”
3. “In case I don’t come back, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always had a lousy sense of direction.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and turn yourself in to the police!”
5.“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s stuck in the 5 O’clock traffic..he’ll never get out alive.!”
6. “If I build it, they will come. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only Canada can save us now.”
8.“So it’s true what they say. You are mashuginah.”
9 “In every man’s life, there’s a time to live life and a time to die fighting. I feel like a beer. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We dance.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “The Lube.”
2. “Leave the passion out of it. This is between the thesis and the anti-thesis.”
3. “In case I get nominated for an Oscar, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought I was better than you.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and at lest attempt to act!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s stealing my scenes!”
6. “If I cry, they laugh. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only the producer can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are capable of making a worse film.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to make good movies and a time to make money. I feel like being filthy rich. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We advertise.”
“Leave Oprah out of it. This is between Rhianna and Chris Brown.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “There’s more than one thing.”
2. “Leave the zombies out of it. This is between sense and sensibility.”
3. “In case I die, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always been a secondary CGI character.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and surrender!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s wearing a red top!”
6. “If I use this ATM, they charge a $6 fee. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only a well-written third act can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a Pisces.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to save the planet and a time to stuff your face. I feel like a Happy Meal. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We zoom back out. A little personal space, please.”
*** CLICHEMAGEDDON — THE SCHOOL VERSION ***
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Pop quiz.”
2. “Leave the class out of it. This is between you and me.”
3. “In case you’ve already stolen the right answers, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always prepared two versions…just in case.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and find the answer to X!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s in detention!”
6. “If I don’t cheat on this test, they will send me to summer school. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only a math-geek can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are a cheater.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to forget about parties and a time to think about your grades. I feel like geeting A’s. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We study.”
1. You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Your oven’s on.”
2. “Leave the cat out of it. This is between me and the donkey.”
3. “In case the economy tanks, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always done what Bernie told me. He’s a good man, that Madoff.”
# “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and finish that pie eating contest!”
# “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a libertarian!”
# “If I don’t steal that elephant, the clowns will hold all the children hostage until the ringmaster buys them a hybrid. And I won’t let that happen.”
# “Only a seemingly spontaneous yet extremely well-thought-out and terribly unrealistic escape plan can save us now.”
# “So it’s true what they say. You are a Scientologist.”
# “In every man’s life, there’s a time to keep fighting and a time to realize you’re through and bow out gracefully. I feel like dancing. Who’s with me?”
# “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We vogue.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “The tea bag. This is just hot water.”
“Leave the Pope out of it. This is between the bear and the woods.”
“In case my boss calls, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always been, and always will be, just a simple rhubarb farmer.”
“You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and give me your wallet!”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s the robot from the future trying to kill us, remember!”
“If I lose my virginity before the end of the summer, they will tell my mom. And I won’t let that happen.”
“Only hopelessness can save us now.”
“So it’s true what they say. You are prone to spontaneously breaking out into song and dance.”
“In every man’s life, there’s a time to go shirtless and a time to go without pants. I feel like wearing nothing but a donut. Who’s with me?”
“What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We… JEEZUS THAT BIG CAMERA IS COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!!”
# ou forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “________.”
# “Leave the ______ out of it. This is between ___ and ___.”
# “In case you don’t remember, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always had AD..hey, look, a butterfly.”
# “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and act like a frenchm-…nevermind!”
# “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s an extra!”
# “If I don’t request it, they certainly won’t play it. And I won’t let that happen.”
# “Only Chuck can save us now.”
# “So it’s true what they say. You are a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll.”
# “In every man’s life, there’s a time to dance and a time to eat poached salmon. I feel like dancin’. Who’s with me?”
# “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We punt.”
ou forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “I before e, except after c…idiot.”
# “Leave the salami out of it. This is between the lettuce and tomato.”
# “In case you don’t remember, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always had AD..hey, look, a butterfly.”
# “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and act like a frenchm-…nevermind!”
# “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s an extra!”
# “If I don’t request it, they certainly won’t play it. And I won’t let that happen.”
# “Only Chuck can save us now.”
# “So it’s true what they say. You are a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll.”
# “In every man’s life, there’s a time to dance and a time to eat poached salmon. I feel like dancin’. Who’s with me?”
# “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We punt.”
“You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “No, egg whites. What the hell is hotshot?”
“Leave the egg whites out of it. This is between 115 and 145 celsius.”
“In case you go back to the grocery store, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always preferred it with egg whites.”
“We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s expensive and we don’t need a third eunuch!”
1. Your hairdresser.
2. a. English b. moi c. toi
3. a. obtuse b. vocabulary
4. kick some prehistoric butt!
5. already matriculated
6. a. dance b. laugh
7. photoshop
8. fibrocystic
9. a. pay b. play c. Peter Pan
10. We edit.
1. …whats that, hotshot?
*KRABBLAMMO!!!*
2. leave the hits of the 80’s out of it. this is between the 90’s and today.
3. in case i swallowed… i want you to know that… i always immediately contacted a physician.
4. …now stand up and button those jeans!
5. …forget him! he’s in enough trouble with that b-yotch girlfriend of his.
6. if i will, they won’t, and I won’t let that happen(?)
7. only chemical dependency can save us now!
8. …what they say is true. You are the largest and most reliable 3G network. Nifty.
9. In every mans life… a time to abstain… and a time to indulge. I feel like tequila shots. Who’s with me?
10. “what do we do now?” We shrug our shoulders, hang our heads, and in whimsical unison clamor, “Here we go again!!!”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that hotshot?” “I’ve got all the bullets.”
2. Leave Jesus out of it. This is between God and the Devil.
3. In case if either one of us doesn’t make it, I want you to know that… I slept with your mom.
4. You’ve never given up on anything, now stand up and stop acting like a $50-a-night pussy.
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forgot him. He’s a Republican.”
6. If I lose, they win. And I’m not going to let that happen. (DUH!)
7. Only Divine Intervention can save us now.
8. So it’s true what they say. You are Jewish.
9. In every man’s life there’s a time sit and pray and there’s a time to say F*ck it and fight! I don’t know about you but I feel like kickin’ some vampire ass.
10. “What do we do now?” “We have one last bang before the Big Bang.”
1 “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “This isn’t France. This is Quebec.”
2 “Leave Isaac out of it. This is between Zac and Taylor.”
3 “In case I accidentally make a joke about your weight after I drink this bottle of Jaegermeister, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought you have a great personality.”
4 “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and finish with me! This is the song that never ends, Yes it goes on and on my friends, Some people…”
5 “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s got a really hot girlfriend!”
6 “If I take all that time to steer the Titanic around the iceberg, they are going to think I’m dumb. And I won’t let that happen.”
7 “Only a pair of inexplicably compassionate dolphins can save us now.”
8 “So it’s true what they say. You are the one known as El Reggaeton.”
9 “In every man’s life, there’s a time to lean and a time to clean. I feel like dancing my fucking ass off. Who’s with me?”
10 “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We put our right hands in… and we shake them all about.”
We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s got the car keys….no wait, do go back for him!
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Apparently the aloe for the burn you just gave me! Hotshot!!! Ouch.”
2. “Leave Labradoodle out of it. This is between Labrador Retriever and Miniature Poodle.”
3. “In case the zombie’s make it through the defenses, there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always thought your sister was hawt.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and win this Murderball game!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s kind of a jerk!”
6. “If I do the dishes, they will not refund us for the radishes. And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only ‘The Power of Love’ by Huey Lewis can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are kinda creepy.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to laugh and a time to weep. I feel like a turn, turn, turn. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We call the proper authorities and let them handle this like responsible citizens.”
1. “You forgot one thing.” “What’s that, hotshot?” “Your PENIS.”
2. “Leave me out of it. This is between those lesbian mudwrestlers and this video camera.”
3. “In case I get drunk and propose. there’s something I want you to know. I’ve always been totally indifferent towards you.”
4. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life! Now stand up and BRUSH YOUR SHOULDERS OFF!”
5. “We have to go back for him!” “Forget him! He’s a communist!”
6. “If I leave, they’ll eat all the food.And I won’t let that happen.”
7. “Only an astonishing coincidence can save us now.”
8. “So it’s true what they say. You are bone idle.”
9. “In every man’s life, there’s a time to read porn and a time to watch TV. I feel like watching porn. Who’s with me?”
10. “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We keep on doin’ what we were doin’.”
10/ “What do we do now?” [dramatic zoom] “We make like Leeroy Jenkins
“It’s not tragic dieing doing what you love!”