Hello, America.
Those of us you who are gainfully employed have probably noticed the special significance today, April 15th, the ides of April, holds. Yes, today is the day for which years of standardized test-taking have prepared each and every one of us. It is a day that encapsulates the very core of the American political soul – the great social equalizer. Today is the day where some modest but precious modicum of our meager salaries are joined together in great union, the ultimate confluence of national cohesion.
Today, we celebrated our Taxation Day.
We’re going look at taxes as viewed from both sides of the Atlantic, through the lens of pop music. Read on – but if you qualify for the Earned Income Credit (EIC), please make sure to first fill out the worksheet on page 15.
Before we begin today’s discussion, I’d like to quote for you a bit of text I found while rummaging through the Massachusetts State Tax Schedule X instructions. It’s not directly on topic, per se, but I find it too amusing to leave aside. Achem:
Line 4. Fees and Other 5.3% Income. …Embezzled or other income from illegal activities is taxable and should be reported on Schedule X, line 4.
And that, my friends, is (A) either the greatest or the most poorly executed sting operation in government history, and (B) why they call us ‘Taxachussets.”
Okay, enough digression. It’s common knowledge that taxes are a political pox which have failed to provide any decent, positive development in the whole of American history. Still, until the inevitable Zombie Uprising that will one day consume all civil societies, we’re somehow obligated to pay them. For, as that old saw goes, “nothing in life is certain, except for (un)Death and Taxes. Unless you’re rich, in which case you can leave out the part about taxes.”
Tax Day evokes a lot of stock symbolism in our society. There’s the iconic image of poor shlubs waiting on long lines at the Paid Preparers’ or Postal offices, trying to give up their pittance before the midnight deadline. There’s the trope of the “IRS man” – an emotionless, bespectacled, be-business-suited robot who eats souls and belches up audits, the perennial punch line to countless sitcom jokes. And this all can be attributed to the camaraderie of group suffering: the sense that – for all-too brief a single day – allows even the lowliest of grad students to stand proudly alongside the most successful of businessmen, and kvetch about how they’re getting reamed on their returns.
And it’s that Culture of Complaint that brings us here today. If you’ve turned on a radio on any April 15th of the past, say, 30 years or so, you’ve likely heard the Station Manager’s attempt at group Tax Day commiseration. For, just slightly less inevitable than Death, UnDeath or Taxes, is the likelihood that on April 15, you’ll hear the Beatles’ classic “Tax Man.” (Unless you listen to NPR, because I’m pretty sure neither The Bad Plus nor BBC Orchestra have covers of it). For reference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct8HYm10tlI
Now, I want to be perfectly clear about this. I love the Beatles. I love this song; I think it’s classic Revolver-era Fab Four, a bridge between their pop roots and social satire with a touch of garage band gristle. But I’m going to argue that there’s a far superior song that should be buzzing through our heads on this and every Tax Day. Because after all, if any nation can produce a better Tax-themed protest song than jolly old England, it’s their hipper, quirkier offspring New Zealand America!
But what song–nay–Anthem of the People could possibly unseat this undeniable classic? If single, or married and filing separately, please read on.
Actually, everyone should read on, please.
As great as “Tax Man” may be, it reeks of (even if it’s an ironic response to) British social defeatism. This is a protest song from passive, droll commentators judging their rulers after the fall from Imperialism. And they admit that they’re powerless to really do anything about it; the titular government servant is in control of the situation–actually, of all situations–from the song’s very opening:
Let ME tell YOU how it will be.
There’s no discussion here, people. Of course it’s mirrored by the iconic closing line (spoiler alert!):
And you’re working for no one but me.
And his reach is seemingly endless:
If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street.
If you try to sit, I’ll tax the seat.
If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat.
If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet.
And this is really the crux of the whole thing, isn’t it? “Tax Man” is a catchy pop song that slyly rings of social satire without really offering much in the way of true protest. It’s the portrayal of an indefatigable bureaucratic system within which its citizens are essentially helpless. I’d add “nameless,” but they clearly offer you the choice of two surnames: Wilson and Heath.
To put it bluntly: this song is the product of the kind of culture that would say… oh, I dunno… put intolerable taxes on its own citizens’ most requisite, (likely caffeinated) items, without so much as offering a voice of civil discourse in parliament.
I propose that on Tax Day, we shouldn’t be tacitly acquiescing to the infinite power of our Tax Men, we should be raising our voices in ill-informed protest. The American way. And to that end I offer up your new favorite tax-themed song, James Brown and the J.B.’s “I’m Payin’ Taxes, What am I Buyin’?”
Now, it would be highly illegal (perhaps taxable?) if we were to provide an mp3 of this song for you to listen to, so we haven’t. Here’s the link to buy a higher quality version of it yourself from the Amazon store, but for no good reason, I’m going to inexplicably place a few of those Captcha thingamaboobers in the middle of this page. It’s a mystery as to why I’d do such a thing. I mean, go ahead and try to enter text for it if you like, I have “no idea” what would happen if you were to do so.
NOT Part I of an mp3
And Certainly Not Part 2 of said mp3
So, assuming you’ve NOW heard this funk masterpiece – having legally purchased it from a licensed vendor, of course – let’s OverThink what it, and its Limey counterpart, have to say about our respective cultures.
Domestic Terrorism: Just one stop on Boston's famous Freedom Trail!
So what does the Godfather of Soul’s offering reveal about America? After all, the man certainly qualifies as an expert on the subject. Let’s er… itemize some insights below.
Everything is bigger in America. “Tax Man” clocks in at ~2:30 minutes. “I’m Payin’ Taxes, What am I Buyin'” cooks-your-books for over three times that length. Even the title’s longer–and by almost the same ratio, too. Hrm. Now, I’m required by law to use a phrase like “in this economy” when addressing the public, so… In this economy, don’t you want your hard-spent mp3-buying dollars to go further? And funkier? Which reminds me…
America Wants the Mutha’-Lovin’ FUNK Up In Its TRUNK. In three different ways, really. There’s the opening-closing theme/framing device of a-capella vocalise (we’ll call, “experimenting-with-form” funky), the B-section theme circa 3:16 (“Anything’s-funky-with-a-vibraslap” funky) and the main theme (“so-goddam-funky-we-probably-don’t-need-to-even-mention-it” funky). The Beatles get a tight groove, no doubt, but if you need to shake your taxable income maker, it’s really no contest.
Americans are Anthem People. One more than others, but that’s beside the point. “Tax Man” is a clever little song, and it employs the classic verse-refrain lyric architecture. It’s sufficient for a pop tune, but if you wanted to stage some bat-guano-bonkers rally in front of IRS headquarters, demanding the end to all taxes, it’ll hardly rabble the troops. Here’s the alternative: let’s just take two sentences–the first of which is the song’s title, mind you–and shout them repeatedly at the top of our lungs (starting at 2:15). Actually, this brings up an interesting point…
Intelligible Lyrics? That’s Just What The MAN Wants. I’ve been listening to this song for years now, and as a die-hard funk fan, I’m well acclimated to the unique vocal stylings Soul Brutha No. 1. provides. Here I am, even, blogging about how ridiculously high quality this anthem is, and I must admit… I have no goddam clue what J.B. says in the second line of the song’s lyrics. It’s
I’m payin’ taxes, but what am I buyin’?
A whole <sumpin-sumpin-sumpin> and everybody’s cryin’!
Is it “A whole lotta rape and cussin'”? “A whole lotta butter and custard”? “A hope of a doberman’s busing”? It seems absurd, but it’s on par with other great James Brown works. Really, though, all of this is moot, BECAUSE THE LYRICAL CONTENT DOESN’T MATTER. The song adequately gets the central point across: dude’s mad. Actually, ALL of the dudes are pretty clearly mad. The cause of their ire is presumed to be somehow tax-related.
America Is a Nation of Unity and Individuality. A lot has been written about the a-capella vocal intro/outro in this song. Despite its unconventional structure, this is ultimately a song of protest, a group song of protest, and so we can interpret this artistic choice as an expression of Mr. Dynamite’s First Amendment right to public gatherings. It’s also steeped in the southern black tradition, a reference to old Negro field songs, about which there’ll be more below.
Of course, on the flip side, the mythos of the American Spirit is also deeply about individual accomplishment. And musically speaking, that ideal’s about as well represented here as it could be anywhere: with a trademark “Friendly Fred” Wesley trombone solo! I mean, it’s called a solo, not a government collective, right? What could better embody the spirit of American self-reliance, than a tribute to the Soul and ‘Bones of our patriots?
Hah, puns.
Americans Lack Subtlety. This is the nation of McRib, people; while the raspberry “Tax Man” blows at its leaders is wonderfully quaint, it just won’t fly on this side of the pond. I mean, yes, it would be a terrible shame if, as I were about to enjoy a good sit in my favorite comfy chair, the government were to levee a tax on said chair. I suppose that would entirely sully that day’s Tea, or even that day’s Invasion of the Falklands.
…But you know what would also suck? Fracking Slavery. And even post-slavery, the systematic denial of civil rights to all citizens. That’d suck pretty badly, too. That would probably get me more riled up than the government taxing my heat (which it pretty much does anyway), the street (ditto), or other rhyming things.
To put it bluntly (America!), James Brown likening his government to a white plantation owner, and threatening to beat Clayton “Chicken” Gunnells if he sleeps with a white woman… that’d probably cut a bit deeper than threatening to tax my feet.
Americans aren’t so hip to classic greek burial ritual references. The Beatles quip:
And my advice for those who die (Tax man!)
Declare the pennies on your eyes (Tax man!)
…a reference to the ancient Greek belief that Charon, ferryman of the afterlife, required a fare of two pennies to bring one’s soul into Tartarus. Pennies were left on a recently deceased corpse’s eyes, lest he be left by the side of Styx for all eternity, tortured by its eerily high-pitched vocal stylings. Apparently, Greeks would much rather spend eternity being tortured by rolling heavy things up steep things.
Anyhoo – you know what part of this wonderfully erudite image will resonate with the sould of the tax-burdened working man? NOTHING. Instead…
Americans Funk it With Fracking COP SIRENS. (At 4:34) The JB’s are obviously of the opinion that, if you’re going to steep your song in metaphor, (A) Have it be more visceral than those spoken with words, and (B) Let it double as the international symbol that THIS PARTY IS ABOUT TO GET FREAKY-STYLE CRAZY.
***
Well, that about does it. I’ve checked my math, signed the return, and run out of OverThought arguments, so it’s time to wrap up. Please join us for our next edition on Earth Day, where the discussion will focus on two alternate views of primate ecology and social behavior.