Let’s play a new game called Guess the Title! Here’s a story for you. You read it and then guess what title I’m referring to.
Ready? Here we go:
Two characters who live back in historical times have finally returned from a long and brutal war. One is a knight: blond, gaunt, tired from the years of fighting, yearning to return to his beautiful wife whom he married when they were both very young. He is usually quiet and stoic, a state that obscures his tormented inner soul and existential anguish. Every so often he’ll break down and start raging against the gods.
The other man is his squire. He’s a buff fellow with buzzed hair, and he’s the exact opposite of his master. He’s gruff, bawdy, and he loves the world. Not one for angst, he’s a “live in the moment” kind of guy. In fact, he barely takes a moment to think of the consequences before he saves a poor, nearly-mute, oh-so-hot waif from slavery and death, even though it could have gotten him into major trouble. Don’t be fooled by his singing and joking, though; he can easily kill you if you get in his way.
Although these two seem to have nothing in common, they are the best of friends, sticking together even as the world crumbles around them. Their quest is to return home and live in peace – but death lurks around every corner.
Okay: Guess the Title.
And the title is…
If you guessed The Seventh Seal, you were right! I just watched the movie this past week after putting it off for quite awhile. You see, I thought it would be dark and heavy – and it is, kind of – but it’s also morbidly funny and refreshingly straightforward. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie so bereft of irony, and I doubt we’ll see that kind of movie ever again.
“But wait!” I hear some of you saying. Those aren’t the characters in The Seventh Seal! Those are the characters in the wonderful HBO series, Rome!
Yeah, yeah, I hear you guys, but…
HOLY CRAP, you’re right. What the hell, Rome?! Did you intentionally steal from Bergman? I mean, good show if you did… But… why? What was the point?
Did anyone else notice this? Am I going crazy?
I don’t know about the connection, as I’ve not seen either Seal or Rome, but I just wanted to share my title guess, as I thought it would be cool, and I’m actually surprised it isn’t a real movie yet.
So the movie sounded kind of comedic, basically a buddy-cop movie set in medieval times. Hence, the title would have to be just funny enough to entice butts into movie seats. Without further ado, I give you:
Knight & Day.
Obviously the squire’s name would be Day. Sure its not a name, but its medieval times, and they had weird names back then. As a buddy-cop movie, the rest of the plot falls out pretty clearly. Knight gets the princess, defeats the evil mage, Day gets knighted, given the promise of future adventures. Wrap it up and throw a bow on it, that baby is packaged!
Oh my lord you’re right. It’s a buddy-cop movie. How did I not see that?
More importantly, how did Ingmar Bergman not see the possibilities?
Oh, and it doesn’t have to be set during Medieval times. It could be a captain and private in Iraq. They have to make their way home from the airport and have wacky adventures.
Actually, I think there was already a movie with this premise, but I don’t think it was funny or full of adventure. I think it was just about how soldiers deal with coming home. I know, LAME, right?!
I figured there must be about a zillion movies like that, but the only title I could think of was The Magic Flute. At least it was the same director. *pats self on back* But it’s weird, now that I think of it, that of all movies the Magic Flute would have sprung to my mind. Maybe Bergman DID see the possibilities. Not that Cries and Whispers would fit the pattern, no…. Or would it?
Who cares if Bergman couldn’t figure out that buddy-cop movies were gold? I know I did, and now if you’ll excuse me I have to go contact Pierce Brosnan and Dane Cook about a script. If you can figure out which one gets which character, you win a lollipop.
Good lord, I got it right.
And I’ve never seen Rome
Lol I was thinking Hercules: The Legend Continues.
Didn’t that pair sound like Kevin Sorbo (spelling) and his little helper whats-his-face?